I feel incredibly confined today. Like, I'm being surrounded on all sides, and all parts of my life are creeping closer and closer until they will inevitably squash me into a square compact version of myself... somewhat like the garbage cubes Rosie made on the Jetsons.
I have an overwhelming desire to run away. Like, actually disappear into the sunset or something. I don't know where I'd go or what I'd do, but all I can think of is picking up and taking off and starting over somewhere else. Sever all ties, y'know? I'm not really sure what that would solve... but that's the feeling I have today.
I feel like I have this huge circle of people who are my friends, my acquaintances, but none of them feel like my confidant. The one person you can talk openly to about anything and everything or nothing at all, and not ever have to worry that they're judging you, or care if you sound selfish, if you've talked about something too long in one conversation, or brought it up to many times, not have to worry if you are being "dramatic" or whatever... It makes it really hard to sort through things, get through your thoughts, if you have to worry the whole time that you are saying too much, or boring someone with your problems. They start to get bigger and bigger the more you try and shove them down inside of you... and then suddenly there they are, crushing you from all sides, turning you into a tiny, condensed version of yourself... completely encasing you in issues that probably shouldn't even be issues, but you've avoided them for so long you've given them power by pretending they don't exist.
I guess I don't even know what my point is. I feel alone sometimes. Alone with nothing and no one to keep me company, just the looming, anxiety-based 'walls' that are creeping closer and closer with each passing day...
I heart this song <3
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