Friday, December 24, 2010

mick had a point.

You can't always get what you want.
So stop trying.

That's the motto that seems correct, like one to live by.  Even when you think you got what you want, you're wrong.  It's impossible.  Something always turns up to change your mind, change what you want, change what you think you want, change what you got.  There's an outcome you didn't see coming, a change of heart that tosses a wrench in things, something, something, that ruins it all.

Maybe it's you.

Maybe it's them.

Maybe it's no one at all.

But knowing what you want is the first step to getting what you want.  And who really knows that?  Maybe it should be "you rarely know what you want so you won't ever get it".  That seems to inspire less whimsical belief that even though you can't always get what you want, maybe sometimes you will.  That's just false advertising.  People get sued for that shit in the real world.

Anyway.  I guess my point is we will never get what we want, so maybe we should just settle for wanting what we get.  This is where I am now, this is the life I have and the choices I have made, and I am okay with that.  I am happy with that.  How wonderful would it be if everyone felt that way?  Not constantly dwelling on what could have been, but accepting and loving what is.  Knowing it may be different tomorrow... or it may not.  Loving what we have instead of coveting what we don't.

Sadly, that's not in our nature.

Human nature.

We are destined to forever want what we can't have, dwell on the what could have beens, and forever regret our choices... our lives... our pasts.

You can't always get what you want.
Or want what you have.

Forever human... forever dissatisfied.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

collage.

.it was in the morning when i made up my mind.
i want you staple-gunned right to my side all of the time

don't cringe, don't clench, don't look, don't flinch, don't know, don't go, don't leave me
don't leave me
don't leave me

you're directing me
your eyes focus like a microscope
you're dressed up
i lose my grip, my focus
make those eyes at me
i lose my grip, i lose my focus

the chemistry between us could destroy this place

four ways to collect what we say and what we save to discard and discover a brand new way
i know you feel it too
these words get overused

so i’m drinking, breathing, writing, singing
everyday i'm on the clock
my mind races with all my longings
but can't keep up with what i got
i hope i don’t sound too ungrateful
.i’m wide-awake, it’s morning.

Monday, December 20, 2010

.all hail the heartbreaker.

i had the notion that you'd make me forget the world
but your indecisive mind shows me that you are "just another girl"
i had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real
what if i ripped your heart apart at the seams
maybe then you'd know how i feel

but that day will most likely never come for me
and it's just my luck
to end up getting stuck
to everything you are

so tonight i'll sit and pick apart your pictures
and overanalyze your words

i will sleep another day
i don't really need to anyway
what's the point when my dreams are infected
with words you used to say
i will breathe in a moment
as long as you keep your distance
i won't want to go messing anything up

i'll let you get the best of me
because there's nothing else that i do well
i'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
i guess that's how this one's gonna go
you've got me down on my knees and i proclaim

       ...all hail the heartbreaker...

-The Spill Canvas (2003)

she.

cares loves grows knows learns conceives understands concedes listens speaks loves stays goes stops goes pushes halts listens comforts softly touches listens goes kisses knows touches touches touches halts conceives learns loves informs understands goes comes goes stays leaves softly urgent loving smiles hugs softly softly tries grows adjusts understands knows loves loves loves
                         loves loves loves loves
                                                  loves loves loves
                                   loves loves loves loves loves
...softly.

She. stays.

her.

lies.

ties. to you. to me. to her. to her.

her.

forever her.  forever you.

fornever me.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

always the same.

split into...
torn in parts.


the great divide begins.
and ends.
the same.

Friday, December 17, 2010

.fly away from me.

titles are beyond me.

DO NOT WORRY!  I have not died of a broken heart!
(phew!)

Though I can see why you might think so.

Thankfully I'm still here. Still kickin.  Still taking up oxygen.  Still recycling carbon.  Still... I dunno, whatever else we human's are good for.

I'm here.
And I'm...
well.  I'm here.

For good or for ill... I'm still here.
(is it just me, or did an eminem song start playing...)

Anyway.  I'll do better at being here.
(no, no... it was goo goo dolls.)