fact.

this is fact not fiction for the first time in years.

i think i need to stop reading you.

it makes me lose hope.

and that's all i have left.

hope.

hope.

hope.

hope that i can make it better.

hope that i can make things right.

hope that i can make you see that i know what i did.

that i don't want to do it again.

that i want to change.

that i CAN change.

that i have changed.

that you're not just another girl.

that this isn't the same.

that i can be everything i should be.

that i am everything i should be.

that i can be all you need.

that i am all you need.

all i need is a chance.

and hope.

kill the beast.

and here it comes again

that ugly beast i've fought so long

rearing up with jutting teeth

i feel it rising

from deep inside

and fight to keep in down beneath

choking, gagging, fighting hard

pushing, pounding, beating heart

for years i thought it had been slain

with confidence my carefree way remained

but here it is, back once more

sometimes i'm not even sure what i keep on fighting for

it takes all my might to keep it in

and no one knows how long it's been

eating me from the inside out

swirling, slashing, screaming to get out

but i stifle it's cries

behind lonely eyes

and pretend this jealous monster

is content in quiet slumber.