.first defeat.

It's the first defeat.
Cuts you to your bones.
Knocks you off your feet,
and you discover that home
is not a person or place
but a feeling you can't get back.

Then the second round
throws you to the floor.
Leaves you stutterin'. 
What the hell was that for?
Takes you by surprise
like the bullet you never saw comin'.

This will be the last time.
This will be the last time.
This will be the last time
you take me.

It's the little things
that convince me to stay.
It's your fingertips
and the music they play.
To the beat of my heart,
and the rhythm our bodies make.

This will be the last time.
Honey this will be the last time.
This will be the last time
you take me.

Oh, but you're kissing me again.
Oh, and I can't see it.
You've got a lot of nerve,
throw me out-the way today.
You've got a lot of nerve,
half naked in my bed, 
you said...

This will be the last time.
This will be the last time.

This will be that last time you take me.

be still my lonely heart.

Sometimes the silence overwhelms my heart
And I swear I can feel it at night, in the dark
Wrapped all around me like grandma's old afghan
It can't keep me warm, I do all that I can
To shake it, to break it, to fake it, to make it
But the silence wins, with its deafening chorus
Filling my head with thoughts, most abhorrent
You're useless, you're needy, you're unwanted, you're boring
You're pushy, you're bossy, you're uninspired...
you're lonely.

Found this in my drafts...
》》》》》
I thought I was strong, but you made me weak.
You gave me your heart, and I trembled in fear,
Made all the wrong choices, fucked it up in a year.
Now all I want is to take all your tears and store them away where you can't ever hear the sadness they hold, the mistakes that I made
I wish I could somehow speak for my heart
And say all the things it wants me to scream
But all that comes out is silence.
My heart got fed up, and packed up its things,
Hitchhiked to somewhere, and left its words here
Filling the hole where it's empty in my chest
A tent city filled with all my regrets.
All that remains of the previous tenant,
A note for your heart,
"I love you. Forever. No matter what comes. Just say the word and I'll be yours again. Til then, farewell... til we meet again."