i want the ocean right now.

Neil Sadaka had it right.

Breaking up IS hard to do.

But it's not so much the loss of the relationship that's hard.  It's the realization that the other person is fine without you.  Whether you are fine without them or not, the most devastating moment in the aftermath of a break up is when you realize they don't need you.  The split second it becomes clear they are happy without you... perhaps even happier.  There's nothing quite like feeling that they no longer have eyes for only you, you are no longer the center of their existence, and the world is still spinning and life is still happening for them.

It's a selfish feeling.  It's not like your world ended, or you didn't keep on living.  But for some reason, when you realize they have too, your stomach turns, your eyes water, your throat swells, and your heart breaks just that little bit more.  You go into panic mode and have these crazy ideas like, begging them to come back, forgiving all that was wrong, just to be back on that pedestal... back in the center of the universe.  You forget for a minute that you broke up for a reason, be it yours or theirs, and pretending it doesn't exist won't make anything better, anyone happy.  And the thought of them being gone, truly gone.... well it's about as close to unbearable as you can get.

The post break up whirlwind is full of confusing thoughts and emotions.  Gusts of desperation to see them again, all mixed in with the total anxiety over the possibility of actually having to see them... wanting to call but then wanting them to call you, or not to talk to them at all...  The words you want to say but wish you didn't feel... the words you wish they'd say but know wouldn't help if they did.

So maybe Neil didn't have it right after all.  It's not the breaking up that's hard to do.  It's the aftermath that will kill you.

Tegan and Sara - The Ocean
That about sums it up.