It's funny how someone else's words can sometimes feel so much more personal and fitting than your own.  And how this can translate into how you read each other.  Like reading meaning into words you wish were there.  Or feeling so incredibly confident that you can suss out the meaning behind the vagueness of someone's words, and taking days, or weeks, or months to realize how wrong you are... and have been... and probably always will be.

Sometimes it's hard to tell which part of this is the hardest.  Is it the waiting, when you think you have something to wait for?  Is it the questioning as to why you even care?  Is it the surprising pain when the waiting doesn't come to fruition?  Is it the stupid feeling when you realize you were waiting without even meaning to?

I wish I could turn off this compulsion to see things that aren't there... feel things that I'd rather not... assumptions that others may do this too... I wish I could just turn it off and be blissfully ignorant of other people's intentions and feelings and desires.  How much easier things would be for me (and my heart) then.