.i wish.

I wish I was a photograph 
tucked into the corners of your wallet
 I wish I was a photograph 
you carried like a future in your pocket 
I wish I was that face you show to strangers 
when they ask you where you come from 
I wish I was that someone that you come from
 every time you get there
 and when you get there
 I wish I was that someone who got phone calls 
and postcards saying 
wish you were here

 I wish you were here
 autumn is the hardest season 
the leaves are all falling 
and they’re falling like they’re falling in love with the ground
 and the trees are naked and lonely 
I keep trying to tell them 
new leaves will come around in the spring 
but you can’t tell trees those things 
they’re like me they just stand there
 and don’t listen

 I wish you were here 
I’ve been missing you like crazy 
I’ve been hazy eyed 
staring at the bottom of my glass again
 thinking of that time when it was so full 
it was like we were tapping the moon for moonshine
 or sticking straws into the center of the sun 
and sipping like Icarus would forever kiss 
the bullets from our guns 

I never meant to fire you know
 I know you never meant to fire lover 
I know we never meant to hurt each other 
now the sky clicks from black to blue
 and dusk looks like a bruise 
I’ve been wrapping one night stands
 around my body like wedding bands 
but none of them fit in the morning
 they just slip off my fingers and slip out the door 
and all that lingers is the scent of you
 I once swore if I threw that scent into a wishing well 
all the wishes in the world would come true 
do you remember

 do you remember the night I told you
 I’ve never seen anything more perfect than snow falling in the glow of a street light
 electricity bowing to nature
 mind bowing to heartbeat
 this is gonna hurt bowing to I love you
 I still love you like moons love the planets they circle around
 like children love recess bells
 I still hear the sound of you
 and think of playgrounds
 where outcasts who stutter 
beneath braces and bruises and acne
 are finally learning that their rich handsome bullies 
are never gonna grow up to be happy 
I think of happy when I think of you

 so wherever you are I hope you’re happy
 I really do 
I hope the stars are kissing your cheeks tonight 
I hope you finally found a way to quit smoking 
I hope your lungs are open and breathing your life 
I hope there’s a kite in your hand 
that’s flying all the way up to Orion 
and you still got a thousand yards of string to let out 
I hope you’re smiling 
like god is pulling at the corners of your mouth
 cause I might be naked and lonely 
shaking branches for bones 
but I’m still time zones away
 from who I was the day before we met
 you were the first mile
 where my heart broke a sweat
 and I wish you were here 
I wish you’d never left 
but mostly I wish you well 
I wish you my very very best.